Flourishing After Adversity

S2:E3 Finding the Good in Adversity (Even When It's Hard)

• Laura Broome

Share episode

Finding Strength and Gratitude in Adversity

In this episode of the Flourishing After Adversity podcast, host Laura Mangum Broome shares her personal journey through the challenges of bilateral breast cancer and congestive heart failure. She discusses how these experiences led her to unexpected insights and a greater sense of resilience. 

Laura offers practical steps to control what you can, focus on gratitude, and reframe adversity to find the good in difficult times. Additionally, she provides free resources to help listeners shift negative thoughts and reclaim their day. Tune in for inspiration and actionable strategies to navigate life's setbacks and transform them into opportunities for growth.

00:00 Introduction and Episode Overview
00:19 Host Introduction and Purpose
00:42 Free Resource for Coping Strategies
01:28 Personal Story: Battling Breast Cancer
02:33 Unexpected Diagnosis: Congestive Heart Failure
03:34 Family Genetic Testing and Results
04:20 Finding Strength and Miracles
05:14 Framework for Finding Good in Adversity
05:34 Step-by-Step Resilience Building
08:29 Recap and Closing Thoughts
09:00 Final Encouragement and Call to Action

Schedule a free 15-minute Clarity Call with Laura: https://bit.ly/15mincallLMB

 If life already feels full, and the constant noise of emails, social media, and news updates, it's making it harder to hear your own thoughts. Today's episode is for you. We're talking about how to find the good in adversity without pretending it doesn't hurt.

Host Introduction and Purpose

Welcome to the Flourishing After Adversity podcast.

I'm your host, Laura Mangum Broome. If you've been knocked down by life grief, illness loss, or unexpected change, you're in the right place. Here we turn setbacks into stepping stones because healing, growth and joy are not out of reach. They're just waiting for space to breathe.  

Free Resource for Coping Strategies

Before we begin, if you've ever felt overwhelmed by negative thoughts after a setback caught in loops of worry, self-doubt, or mental exhaustion, I created a free resource for you called Reframe the Spiral, five Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim your Day.

These are the same tools I use when my mind feels loud and my heart feels heavy. You'll find the link in the show notes. 

A quick note, I'm not a medical professional and this episode isn't medical advice. I'm sharing my personal experience and the resilience lessons I learned along the way.  Now let's take a breath together and begin.

Personal Story: Battling Breast Cancer

When I went through bilateral breast cancer, it was one of the hardest seasons of my life. Chemo is brutal. It changes your body, it changes your mind, and it changes your sense of safety. And when my chemo treatments ended, I expected that the hardest part would be behind me. But instead, something new started, I began having breathing issues.

At first, it was subtle. I couldn't take a full breath easily. But it got worse. It became so bad that I continually struggled to stay calm while taking a single breath from my diaphragm. I could only shallow breathe from my chest. And when you can't breathe deeply, everything changes, your mobility changes, your energy changes, your confidence changes.

Even simple things can feel impossible. I kept pushing because that's what so many of us do. We push through, we try to be strong. We tell ourselves it'll pass.  But it didn't pass.

Unexpected Diagnosis: Congestive Heart Failure

Eventually I was able to see my twin sister's cardiologist. Here's why that mattered. My twin sister had recently been diagnosed with congestive heart failure.

I'll use the acronym CHF.  And when I described what I was experiencing and he looked at my symptoms, he said something that changed the direction of my journey.  He told me that I showed similar signs, and because we were twins, he believed it might be genetic.  He referred both of us to a specialty heart clinic in town.

They ran several tests, and then the clinic recommended that both of us take a genetic test.   The results showed we had a certain genetic marker for congestive heart failure.  If you've ever received unexpected medical information, you know the emotional whiplash. You're already tired, you're already carrying fear, and then you're asked to carry more?

But this is where something important happened.

Family Genetic Testing and Results

The clinic suggested our younger brother get tested and they  suggested all of our children get tested as well.  So we did. And sure enough, all but two of our children had the same genetic marker.  That meant something very specific. My twin sister and I were diagnosed with CHF. And for my brother and our children who tested positive, it meant they were more susceptible to being diagnosed,  but it also meant they could keep an eye on it.

They could be proactive, they could get an annual echocardiogram. they could watch for changes,  and they could take preventive measures. That knowledge, as hard as it was, gave our family a chance to protect our future.

Finding Strength and Miracles

And yes, going through bilateral breast cancer was very challenging, but several good things came out of it.

I learned how strong I really was through perseverance and humor.  Being diagnosed with CHF led me to a successful heart transplant four months later, right after the COVID shutdown. A match was found in six days after I was admitted into the hospital.  I was released three weeks later on Mother's Day weekend. The whole experience was a miracle.  And my family is aware of a genetic predisposition and can take preventive measures.  I want you to hold onto what I'm about to say. Awareness creates. options. Sometimes the good isn't that the hard thing happened. The good is what you can do because you now know what you know now.

Framework for Finding Good in Adversity

So what does it mean to find the good in adversity? It doesn't mean you have to be grateful for the trauma. It doesn't mean you have to call it a blessing.  It means you learn how to look for what's still true, what's still possible, and what's still in your hands. It means you refuse to let the hard things define the entire story. 

Step-by-Step Resilience Building

And I want to give you a simple, practical framework you can use starting today. Just three steps.  Step one is control the controllable.  When adversity hits, one of the first things we lose is a sense of control.

So here's a tool I use, I call it a control check.  Take a piece of paper, make two columns. On the left side, write "I can control." On the right, "I can't control."  You can control whether you ask for help, whether you schedule the appointment, whether you take the walk, whether you drink water, whether you set a boundary and whether you tell the truth about how you're doing.

You can't control the diagnosis. The timeline, other people's reactions, the past, and the fact that you're tired.  Now, here's the key. Pick one thing from the "I can control" side and do it today. Not 10 things, just one. Because resilience isn't built by grand gestures. It's built by small, consistent decisions that keep you moving forward.

Here's a reflection question. What is one thing you can control today that would help you feel 5% more grounded?  Step two is focus on gratitude. Gratitude is not denial. Gratitude is a way to notice what is still good, even when everything isn't. I call these "still good" moments.  Once a day, write down three "still good" moments from the last 24 hours. They can be tiny. A kind text, a friendly cashier, a moment of laughter, a body that kept going, a friend who showed up.  Here's another reflection question. What are three still good moments from the last 24 hours? 

Step three is reframe the adversity to find the good throughout the journey.  Reframing isn't pretending. Reframing is choosing a perspective that helps you move forward.  There are three reframe questions you can borrow.  One, what is this revealing?  Two,  what might this be protecting?  And three,  what might this be preparing me for?  Here's a practical exercise. Take five minutes today and write one sentence for each prompt.

This adversity is revealing (fill in the blank).  This adversity is teaching me (fill in the blank).  One  good thing I can do because of this is (fill in the blank).  Then choose one next action step. 

Recap and Closing Thoughts

Before we close, let's recap. Adversity can reveal something important you couldn't see before.

Controlling the controllable restores your footing.  Gratitude helps you notice what's still good.  Reframing helps you find meaning and take the next step.  You don't have to do this alone. Every small step you take is a victory. Give yourself grace, trust your pace, and remember you are resilient. 

Final Encouragement and Call to Action

Thank you for listening to the Flourishing After Adversity Podcast.  If this episode helped you, please share it with three friends in need of hope. Leave a review or connect with me online. My website is iCope2Hope.com.  And don't forget to download your free guide. Reframe the Spiral, five quick coping strategies to shift negative thoughts and reclaim your day.

The link is in the show notes. Until next time, remember, adversity can make you bitter or better. Choose better! You've  got this!