S1:E32 How to Cope With Grief and Find Hope During the Holidays

S1:E32 Finding Hope in the Holidays: Navigating Grief and Growth

In this episode of the Flourishing After Adversity podcast, host Laura Mangum Broome offers guidance for those facing the holidays with a heavy heart due to grief, loss, or changes. Laura shares personal anecdotes and practical advice on how to find balance and hope during this emotionally challenging season. 

Key topics include practicing micro-gratitude, evolving holiday traditions, and redefining participation in holiday activities to honor one's current emotional state. The episode also highlights a free resource, ‘Reframe the Spiral: Five Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day,’ available in the show notes.

00:00 Introduction and Purpose of the Episode
00:42 Facing the Holidays with a Heavy Heart
01:14 Resource for Coping with Negative Thoughts
01:46 Understanding the Emotional Weight of the Holidays
02:22 Personal Story of Grief During the Holidays
03:31 Micro-Gratitude: Finding Small Comforts
04:48 Evolving Traditions After Loss
06:34 Choosing How to Participate in the Holidays
07:37 Recap and Final Thoughts
08:36 Conclusion and Call to Action

Free Resource: Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day https://www.icope2hope.com/reframe

iCope2Hope 3-Step Resilience Framework: https://bit.ly/FrameworkRoadmap

Website: iCope2Hope: From Hardship to Hope https://www.icope2hope.com

Move Beyond Adversity Blog:  https://www.icope2hope.com/blog

Free Newsletter: Wednesday’s Resilient Recharge https://www.icope2hope.com/newsletter

Schedule a free 15-minute Clarity Call with Laura: https://bit.ly/15mincallLMB 

Transcript

 S1:E32 How to Cope With Grief and Find Hope During the Holidays

If the holidays feel heavier than joyful this year, this episode is for you.  It's a reassuring conversation about moving through the season with more balance and discovering that hope can still meet you where you are.

Welcome to the Flourishing After Adversity podcast. I'm your host, Laura Mangum Broome. If you've been knocked down by life, grief, loss, illness, divorce, or unexpected change, you're in the right place. This podcast is for anyone learning how to turn setbacks into stepping stones because healing, growth, and joy are not off the table even after heartbreak.

Facing the Holidays with a Heavy Heart

Today's episode is for those of you who are facing the holidays with a heavy heart.  Maybe this is your first holiday season after a loss. Maybe your family looks different this year.  Maybe the traditions that once brought comfort now brings tears.  In today's episode, we're talking about how to cope with grief and find hope during the holidays, not by pretending everything's okay, but by honoring what's real and learning how to grow forward. One gentle step at a time.   

Resource for Coping with Negative Thoughts

Before we jump in, I wanna share a resource with you. If the holidays are stirring up, negative thoughts, emotional overwhelm, or that familiar spiral of why does this hurt so much? I created a free guide called Reframe the Spiral, five Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day.  These are simple, practical tools I use myself when my thoughts start to run away from me. You can find the link in the show notes. 

Understanding the Emotional Weight of the Holidays

The holidays are often painted as a season of joy, connection, and celebration. But for many people, especially those who've experienced loss, divorce, or major life changes, the holidays can feel isolating, exhausting, and emotionally heavy.

And if that's you, I want you to hear this first. There is nothing wrong with you. Grief has a way of showing up louder during the holidays. The memories are sharper, the expectations are higher, and the contrast between what was and what is can feel unbearable at times.

Personal Story of Grief During the Holidays

I know this firsthand.   The first Christmas after my son passed away, I felt lost in a fog of sadness. The traditions we once shared felt hollow decorating the tree. Listening to Christmas music, even hanging our Christmas stockings, felt overwhelming. The idea of celebrating without him felt almost impossible.  I remember one quiet morning, I was sitting by the window wrapped in a blanket, holding a cup of my favorite coffee.

The house was still, the sun was just beginning to rise, and for a brief moment, just a moment, I felt a sense of peace. It didn't erase my grief, it didn't make the pain disappear.  But it reminded me that even in deep sorrow, there could still be small amounts of light.

That moment changed how I approached the holidays. It taught me something important. You don't have to feel joyful to feel grounded. You don't have to celebrate big to find meaning.

Which brings me to the first truth I wanna share with you today. 

Micro-Gratitude: Finding Small Comforts

Point number one, when gratitude feels impossible, go small. When you're grieving, people often say things like, try to focus on what you're grateful for, and while well intentioned that advice can feel impossible when your heart's broken.  That's why I talk about micro-gratitude. Micro-gratitude isn't being thankful for the whole season.  It is about noticing the smallest comforts available to you right now. Things like the warmth of a mug in your hands, candlelight in a quiet room, a favorite song that brings a familiar sense of calm.  A moment where your shoulders drop and you can breathe again.  These moments may seem insignificant, but they're not.  They are anchors. Micro-gratitude doesn't erase grief. It coexist with it. This is a very important statement, so I'm going to say it again. Micro-gratitude doesn't erase grief. It coexist with it. And when everything feels uncertain, the small moments can gently remind your nervous system, I'm safe right now.  You don't need to force gratitude. You only need to notice one thing that feels slightly less heavy. That's enough. 

Evolving Traditions After Loss

Point number two, traditions can change, and that's part of healing.  Holidays are deeply tied to traditions and after loss or divorce, those traditions can suddenly feel painful instead of comforting.   When family structures shift or when someone you love isn't there anymore. The old ways of celebrating can feel like constant reminders of what's missing. But here's what I've discovered. Traditions are not all or nothing. They're allowed to evolve just like you.  The first Christmas after my divorce was filled with uncertainty, the familiar patterns, decorating the tree together, sharing meals as a family, exchanging gifts were suddenly gone.

There was an ache, not just for the marriage, but for the life I thought I'd always have. That year, I decided to keep a few traditions that still felt meaningful. I  I hung my favorite ornaments, but on a smaller tree. I hung my Christmas stocking. I baked cookies for my son and his soon to be wife, . But I also introduced something new. On Christmas morning. I made my favorite breakfast just for myself. It was simple, delicious, intentional, and that small act became a symbol of resilience, a way to honor what had been while gently stepping into what could be.

You're allowed to do this too. You can keep some traditions, let others go, create  new rituals that reflect who you are now.  Changing traditions doesn't mean you're letting go of love. It means you're honoring your reality. Grief and growth can exist at the same time. 

Choosing How to Participate in the Holidays

Point number three, you get to choose how you participate this year. One of the most empowering realizations after loss or major change is this. You get to choose how you show up during the holidays.  There is no rule book that says you must attend every gathering. Stay the whole time. Pretend you're okay, explain yourself to anyone.

Redefining participation means listening to your emotional bandwidth. Some years you may want connection. Other years you may need quiet. Both are valid.  This might look like politely declining invitations that feel overwhelming, creating your own rituals. A solo walk, volunteering, a quiet evening out with a few friends.  Spending time with one safe person instead of a crowd.  Giving yourself grace to change plans at the last minute.  This isn't avoidance,  it is self-compassion. Honoring your needs is not weakness. It's wisdom.

Recap and Final Thoughts

Let's pause and recap what we've covered today. When gratitude feels impossible, practice micro-gratitude. Small moments matter.  Traditions can change and changing them as part of healing.  You get to choose how you participate this holiday season.  You are not doing the holidays wrong, you're doing them honestly. 

The holidays after loss can feel like a complex mix of grief, longing, hope, and unexpected moments of peace. If this season feels hard, that doesn't mean you're failing. It means you're human. Resilience isn't about pretending the pain isn't there. It's about meeting yourself with gentleness and choosing to grow forward even when the steps are small.  Whether you're finding micro-gratitude, adapting traditions, or redefining how you show up, every step you take is a testament to your strength. 

Conclusion and Call to Action

If your thoughts have been spiraling or you're feeling emotionally overwhelmed, I encourage you to download your free guide, reframe the  Spiral, five quick coping strategies to shift negative thoughts and reclaim your day. You'll find the link in the show notes.  

That's it for today's episode. If this podcast has been helpful, please subscribe so you don't miss future episodes. And if you're able, leaving a review helps more people find this message when they need it most. Better yet, please share this episode with three people in need of hope. 

Until next time, remember, adversity can make you bitter or better. Choose better! You've got this!