S1 E29 Simple Steps That Make Life Transitions Easier

Navigating Lifequakes: Steps to Flourish After Major Life Disruptions

In this episode of the Flourishing After Adversity podcast, resilience coach and author Laura Mangum Broome discusses 'lifequakes'—major life disruptions that shake your world. Drawing from Bruce Feiler’s research, Laura explains why transitions feel overwhelming, common mistakes to avoid, and introduces five simple steps to make transitions easier: accepting reality, marking endings with closure, shedding what's no longer needed, creating new possibilities, and sharing your story. 

The episode also offers practical advice for regaining confidence through small, brave steps. Listeners are encouraged to download the free guide, 'Reframe the Spiral,' for coping strategies, and to schedule a clarity call for personalized support.

00:00 Introduction to Lifequakes
01:19 Understanding Lifequakes
03:45 Common Mistakes During Transitions
05:12 Steps to Navigate Transitions
08:33 Phases of Transition
09:48 Recap and Closing Thoughts

Free Resource: Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day https://www.icope2hope.com/reframe

iCope2Hope 3-Step Resilience Framework: https://bit.ly/FrameworkRoadmap

Website: iCope2Hope: From Hardship to Hope https://www.icope2hope.com

Move Beyond Adversity Blog:  https://www.icope2hope.com/blog

Free Newsletter: Wednesday’s Resilient Recharge https://www.icope2hope.com/newsletter

Schedule a free 15-minute Clarity Call with Laura: https://bit.ly/15mincallLMB 

Transcript

Introduction to Lifequakes

Lifequakes hit all of us, but few people know how to move through them without losing themselves.  Today's episode is about navigating a lifequake, the kind of disruption that shakes your world. This episode will give you clarity, comfort , and your next step forward. 

Welcome to the Flourishing After Adversity podcast. I'm your host, Laura Mangum Broome Resilience Coach and author of Flourishing After Adversity. If life has knocked the wind out of you lately through loss, grief, illness, divorce, or a sudden change you never saw coming, you're exactly where you need to be.

Every week we talk about simple, doable ways to rebuild your confidence, strengthen your resilience, and take small steps toward a life that feels meaningful again.   

But first, if you've been overwhelmed with negative thoughts lately, or you catch yourself spiraling into worst case scenarios,    I want you to grab my free guide.

Reframe the spiral. Five quick coping strategies to shift negative thoughts and reclaim your day. These are the same tools I personally use to stop emotional spirals and find hope Again, you can find the link in the show notes. 

All right, let's settle in.

Understanding Lifequakes

I want to begin with a picture.  Imagine your life sitting peacefully on a shelf in a snow globe.

Steady, predictable, familiar.  Everything inside looks calm, safe, certain.  Then one day without warning, someone picks up your snow globe and shakes it as hard as they can. Snow flies everywhere. Your vision blurs. You can't see what's coming next, and when the shaking finally stops, everything inside takes time to settle again.

This is what Bruce Feiler, the author of Life is in the Transitions, calls a lifequake, a major life disruption that rocks your routines, your identity, your sense of safety, and the story you thought you were living.  These aren't little detours.

They shake the foundation of your entire world,  but here's the hopeful truth, inside every lifequake.  Life transitions aren't the end of your story. They're the doorway to your next chapter.  You may not be able to see that chapter clearly yet, and that's okay. The snow is still swirling, but clarity is coming.

Let's talk about why transitions feel so hard and the simple steps that help you steady your life again.   First, let's talk about why life transitions feel so overwhelming.   Feiler's research shows the average adult experiences three to five lifequakes in a lifetime, each lasting four to five years.

That means nearly half your life will be spent navigating change.  And transitions shake you because they disrupt things you rely on without realizing it. Like your routines, your identity, your sense of control, your emotional stability, your expectations, and your confidence.

Suddenly even simple decisions feel heavy.  A transition pulls at every thread, your future, your relationships, your self-worth. You may feel confused, sad, afraid, overwhelmed, and exhausted.  You're not weak. You're human, and you're navigating. One of the most emotionally demanding experiences a person can go through  the snow in the globe hasn't settled yet, and that doesn't mean you're failing.

It means your world is rearranging. 

Common Mistakes During Transitions

Let's move on to the most common mistakes people make during transitions. Even the strongest, most capable people fall into emotional traps during major change. Here are five most common  mistake number one, waiting for life to return to normal. Normal isn't coming back, but a new normal will be built and you'll be okay.

Mistake number two. Believing transitions are linear. They're not. Feiler describes them as a pinball machine, not a straight line. I know this to be true from my own lifequakes.  Mistake number three, trying to stay strong alone. Transitions require support, connection, and community.

Please don't isolate yourself.   Mistake number four, thinking something is wrong with you for feeling stuck. You're not stuck. You're in that messy middle. I'll discuss steps to get unstuck shortly, and  mistake number five, rushing to the new beginning before you've processed the ending.

Skipping your goodbye keeps you trapped. Your brain needs closure. The good news, once you understand these mistakes, you can avoid the emotional quicksand that keeps so many people from moving forward. 

Now I wanna share five simple steps that make transitions easier. 

Steps to Navigate Transitions

Now we shift from overwhelm to empowerment.

These steps are simple. Doable and deeply rooted in everyday resilience. Drawing from both Feiler's findings and my iCope2Hope 3-Step Resilience Framework.  Let's walk through them one by one.  Step one, accept the reality you're in, even if you don't like it.  Acceptance is not approval. Acceptance is clarity.

Try this gentle sentence starter. The truth is. And then follow it with, and the next small step I can take toward closure is, here's an example.  The truth is I was laid off from work, and the next small step I can take is to make a list of my strengths and passions.  Acceptance reduces emotional resilience.

It's  the beginning of regaining your footing so you can move forward.  Step two, Mark what ended. Transitions require a ritual, big or small.  This gives your mind closure and your heart direction. A ritual might be writing a goodbye letter to the situation, lighting a candle, decluttering a space, taking an intentional walk.

This isn't cliche, it's neuroscience.

Your brain needs acknowledgement before it can begin again.  Step three,  shed what no longer fits.  Every transition asks you to release something, an old identity, a belief that kept you small.  Guilt or shame patterns that drain you  or a relationship dynamic,  ask yourself, what am I carrying that doesn't belong in my next chapter?

Shedding, creates emotional space for what's next.  Step four, create new possibilities.  In Feiler's research, people in the messy middle naturally turn to creativity. It helps rebuild identity. Possibilities often start small, get back into a hobby, take a class or volunteer.  Topics can include cooking, painting, writing,  gardening, decorating, or learning something new.

Try 15 minutes this week, just 15. See what wakes you up inside.  Step five, share your story with someone safe.  Transitions are not meant to be navigated alone. Sharing your story reduces shame, increases clarity, strengthens emotional resilience, and helps you feel less alone. You don't need to tell everyone, tell someone who listens without judgment.

So how do you regain confidence when life feels so uncertain?  Confidence doesn't return in one big moment. It returns through small, brave steps. Choosing one thing you can control, taking one action a day using your strengths and your superpowers. Practicing the phrase I can,  every tiny step plants a seed of confidence.

These seeds grow over time, slowly, quietly, and faithfully. 

Phases of Transition

So which phase are you in in your transition?  Feiler identified three phases of transition. Phase one, the long goodbye you're grieving, letting go or releasing what once was.  Phase two, the messy middle. You feel uncertain, overwhelmed, or stuck.

You're experimenting. You're finding your footing.  Or phase three, the new beginning. You feel a spark again. You see possibility. You take confident steps forward.  Ask yourself, which phase feels most true for me today? There are no wrong answers. This isn't a test. It's simply a check-in to help you see your next step.

Let's make this simple. You are not meant to navigate transitions in isolation. You deserve support and clarity and a few people you trust who see your strengths even when your world still feels foggy.  If you want help regaining your confidence, getting your emotional footing, or discovering what your new beginning could look like, I'd love to walk that with you.

When you're ready, you can schedule a clarity call with me. The link is in the show notes. 

Recap and Closing Thoughts

Before we close, here's a quick recap of what we covered today.  Life transitions feel overwhelming because they shake your identity, your routines, and your sense of control.  The most common mistakes include waiting for normal, going it alone, and rushing ahead too quickly. 

The five simple steps to move forward include accepting your reality, marking the ending with closure, shedding what no longer fits. Creating new possibilities. Sharing your story with someone safe.  Confidence returns through tiny brave steps, not big leaps.

You're somewhere in the long goodbye, the messy middle, or the new beginning, and that awareness helps you see your way forward.  

As I mentioned earlier, if your thoughts have felt heavy, scattered, or spiraling lately, make sure you grab your free guide, reframe the spiral, five quick coping strategies to shift negative thoughts and reclaim your day.

You'll find the link in the show notes and if you want personalized support, clarity, or encouragement as you move through your life transition, schedule a free 15 minute clarity call with me. You don't have to figure this out alone.  

Alright, that's it for today's episode. If this conversation helped steady your spirit or gave you hope for your next chapter, please take a second to subscribe, rate, or leave a review. It helps more people find this show. Better yet, please share this episode with three people in need of hope today. 

Until next time. Remember, adversity can make you bitter or better, choose better. You've got this!