S1:E18 The Injustice of Injustice: When to Let Go Of Fairness to Heal & Grow

Radical Acceptance: Healing Through Life's Injustices

In this episode of the Flourishing After Adversity podcast, host Laura Mangum Broome discusses how to overcome feelings of betrayal, rejection, and unfairness. She introduces the concept of radical acceptance to help listeners move forward and reclaim their peace. 

The episode outlines why injustice feels doubly painful and provides strategies for releasing bitterness and taking control of one's own healing. Broome shares practical steps for shifting focus from past hurts to present actions and emphasizes the importance of necessary endings for personal growth. Listeners are also invited to download a free guide, 'Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day.'

00:00 Introduction to Overcoming Injustice
00:14 Welcome and Host Introduction
00:42 Today's Topic: The Injustice of Injustice
01:07 Free Guide for Coping Strategies
01:32 Understanding the Pain of Injustice
02:33 Radical Acceptance: What It Is and Isn't
03:11 Common Patterns in Dealing with Unfairness
04:02 The Cost of Refusing to Accept Reality
04:45 Applying Radical Acceptance in Personal Relationships
05:40 Workplace Injustice and Radical Acceptance
06:30 Wisdom in Choosing Battles
08:10 Practical Steps for Radical Acceptance
09:29 Seeking Support and Final Thoughts
10:17 Episode Recap and Closing Remarks

Free Resource: Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day https://www.icope2hope.com/reframe

iCope2Hope 3-Step Resilience Framework: https://bit.ly/FrameworkRoadmap

Website: iCope2Hope: From Hardship to Hope https://www.icope2hope.com

Move Beyond Adversity Blog:  https://www.icope2hope.com/blog

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Transcript

S1:E18 The Injustice of Injustice: When to Let Go of Fairness to Heal & Grow

Introduction to Overcoming Injustice

Betrayal, rejection and fairness. How do you stop them from stealing your peace? Keep listening to learn two important questions that help you decide to stand up for yourself or move forward. 

Welcome and Host Introduction

Welcome to the Flourishing After Adversity podcast. I'm your host, Laura Mangum Broome, Resilience Coach and author of Flourishing After Adversity.

If you've been knocked down by life, grief, illness, betrayal, or unexpected change, you're in the right place. This podcast is about turning setbacks into stepping stones because healing, growth and joy are not only possible, they're waiting for you.

Today's Topic: The Injustice of Injustice

In today's episode, we're talking about the injustice of injustice, when to let go of fairness to heal and grow.

By the end of this conversation, you'll know why unfairness feels like a double injury. How radical acceptance can free you from bitterness, and simple steps you can take right now to shift from replaying the wrong to reclaiming your peace.  

Free Guide for Coping Strategies

But before we get started, are you feeling trapped in loops of negative thinking after a setback? I created a free guide just for you. It's called Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day. These are the same tools I reach for when I feel myself stuck in the "It's Not Fair" spiral. You'll find the link in the show notes. 

Understanding the Pain of Injustice

Imagine this: a runner mid-race. She doesn't stumble on her own. Someone else sticks out their foot. She falls hard onto the track, stunned wind knocked out of her. The race keeps going, but her mind is frozen on repeat: it shouldn't have happened this way.

That's what injustice feels like. Maybe you worked long hours, did the right thing, helped others shine , and someone else got the recognition or promotion.  Maybe you gave loyalty in a relationship only to be blindsided by betrayal. Maybe your health, finances, or family life took a hit for reasons that had nothing to do with your choices.

It is not just the pain of the loss, it's the insult of knowing it shouldn't have happened. That's what makes injustice its own kind of wound. Here's the hard truth we don't like to admit: life isn't fair. And if you wait for fairness to return before you start to heal, you'll be waiting forever. 

Radical Acceptance: What It Is and Isn't

Now, radical acceptance doesn't mean approval. It doesn't mean excusing bad behavior. It doesn't mean pretending  betrayal was okay, or that the unfair promotion decision was right.

Radical acceptance is simply saying, this happened. I don't like it, but it is what it is. Now, what's in my control from here? When you stop replaying "It shouldn't be this way," you release yourself from a fight you cannot win. And in that release, you reclaim the energy you need for healing, clarity, and action.

Radical acceptance is how you trade bitterness for freedom. 

Common Patterns in Dealing with Unfairness

When life feels unfair, most of us default to three common patterns. The first one is replaying the story. You go over every detail again and again looking for the moment where it could have turned out differently.      The second pattern is blaming yourself. Maybe you weren't good enough, maybe you missed a sign. Maybe this really is your fault.  And the third pattern, demanding fairness, the phrase "it wasn't supposed to be this way," loops in your mind louder and louder. Can you recognize the problem? None of those responses changed what happened. They only turn your pain into suffering.

Acceptance doesn't erase the pain, but it does stop the extra suffering. The suffering that comes from clinging to a past that can't be undone. 

The Cost of Refusing to Accept Reality

Let's talk about the cost of refusing to accept reality.  Not accepting injustice feels like loyalty. Loyalty to truth. To yourself. To what's "right." But in practice, it works against you.

It steals your energy.   Instead of fueling your healing, your strength gets drained into replaying the wrong in a nonstop loop. It deepens bitterness. Resentment grows, and before long it spills into other parts of your life.

It delays growth.  You can't move into tomorrow while you're still arguing with yesterday. The injustice already hurt you once.  Refusing to accept it lets it hurt you again and again. 

Applying Radical Acceptance in Personal Relationships

Let's bring this closer to home. Maybe your significant other left you for someone else, or maybe the betrayal with secrecy that broke trust.

The loss alone is painful, but the unfairness multiplies it. You gave love, loyalty and presence. They gave betrayal. Radical acceptance here means acknowledging what you cannot control. You can't undo their choice. Focusing on what you can control, your healing, your boundaries, your next steps. Applying a necessary ending. Holding onto what's broken only delays recovery. Sometimes closure doesn't come from them, it comes from your own decision to release it. And in that release you discover something vital. Your strength was never tied to someone else's choices. It's yours. Always. 

Workplace Injustice and Radical Acceptance

Workplace injustice can sting just as sharply. You put in the hours, you trained others, you hit the deadlines.

And yet, the credit or the opportunity went to someone else.  Radical acceptance here might mean accepting reality. The decision has been made. Resentment won't reverse it.

Picking your battles. Ask: is this worth raising with HR or leadership? Or is it wiser to pour your energy into new opportunities that honor your skills?  Applying a necessary ending. Sometimes that means leaving. Other times, it means ending the expectation that this workplace will operate fairly.  I've seen many women discover that rejection at one job became the doorway to a role that was far better aligned with their strengths and values.

Wisdom in Choosing Battles

Here's the wisdom piece. Not every injustice needs to be fought, but not every injustice should be ignored either. Ask yourself two questions.  Will speaking up meaningfully change the outcome?  Or will it drain my peace without shifting reality?  Sometimes courage is raising your voice. Sometimes courage is walking away.

Both require strength. Acceptance helps you see which one serves you best.  Necessary endings are rarely easy, but they're often the most freeing choice. Ending a toxic relationship that keeps you small. Ending the hope that your workplace will suddenly become fair.  Ending a dream that no longer fits who you are today.

Necessary endings are not failures. They're decisions to stop pouring your life into dead soil. And once you stop, you discover something new can finally take root.

Adversity is rarely the teacher we ask for, but it often becomes the one that changes us the most.  With radical acceptance injustice becomes soil for growth.

It provides personal strength. You realize you can endure more than you thought. It provides clear priorities. What really matters comes into sharp focus, and it provides new paths. What looked like a dead end can now become a turning point.   And provides deeper empathy. Having lived through unfairness, you see it more quickly in others and respond with compassion. Growth doesn't erase the pain, but it ensures the pain isn't wasted. 

Practical Steps for Radical Acceptance

Let's get practical. Here are a few simple steps you can start today.  Number one, write it down. Make two lists, what's in my control and what's not. Draw a big X through the second list.  Step two, using coping statements. Try phrases like, I may not like what happened, but it is what it is.  I can accept reality and still be okay. This moment is hard, but it's temporary.  Step three, ground yourself in the present. Injustice pulls you into the past. Anchor yourself in today. Even something as simple as noticing your breath can bring you back.  And step four, take one action. Pick something small from your In My Control list and do it. It could be making a call, going for a walk, or setting a boundary.

If you notice your mind spinning on the unfairness, one of the fastest ways to interrupt that spiral is to focus on what you can control. This is actually one of the five strategies in my free guide: Reframe the Spiral. It reminds you, you don't have to fix everything today. You only need to focus on what's in your hands right now. That one shift can bring immediate relief. 

Seeking Support and Final Thoughts

Sometimes radical acceptance feels too heavy to practice on your own. That's not weakness. That's human. A trusted counselor, therapist, or resilience coach can help you untangle the emotions that are blocking your acceptance so you can finally move forward.

Support doesn't erase the injustice, but it helps you carry it without being crushed by it.  Life isn't fair. That's the reality. But here's the choice you do have. Will you wait for fairness to return before you live again, or will you choose radical acceptance? Releasing what you can't change and reclaiming your energy to heal, to grow, and to create something new?  Radical acceptance doesn't excuse injustice, it simply refuses to let it have the final word.

Episode Recap and Closing Remarks

Today we talked about why injustice feels like a double wound. How radical acceptance can free you from replaying the past. The cost of refusing to accept reality. What necessary endings can do for your healing, and practical steps to begin choosing acceptance today. 

If this episode spoke to you, I want to invite you again to download my free guide: Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day. You'll find the link in the show notes. It's short, simple, and powerful, and is waiting for you. 

That's it for today's episode. If you haven't already, subscribe so you won't miss future episodes. And if this podcast has encouraged you, would you take a moment to rate or review it? That helps other women find the hope they need. In fact, I would appreciate it very much if you could share this episode with three people in need of hope. 

Until next time, remember: adversity can make you bitter or better. Choose better. You've got this!