S1:E16 How to Stop Being Afraid of Change

Conquering the Fear of Change: Steps to Embrace Transformation

In this episode of the Flourishing After Adversity podcast, host Laura Mangum Broome discusses overcoming the fear of change and its commonality. She outlines five actionable steps to move forward with courage: radical acceptance, identifying strengths from past challenges, reframing uncertainty as a blank canvas, focusing on controllable factors, and defining personal freedom. 

Laura shares her personal experiences with significant life changes and provides resilience strategies to help listeners reclaim power and pursue their dreams. The episode also highlights a free resource, 'Reframe the Spiral,' to help manage negative thoughts during times of uncertainty.

00:00 Introduction: Embracing Change
00:46 Sponsor Message: Reframe the Spiral
01:18 Personal Story: Overcoming Life-Altering Events
03:03 Step 1: Radical Acceptance
04:07 Step 2: Finding Strength in Past Struggles
04:45 Step 3: Reframing the Unknown
05:31 Step 4: Focusing on Control
06:15 Step 5: Defining Freedom
07:00 Conclusion and Recap
07:40 Final Thoughts 

Free Resource: Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day https://www.icope2hope.com/reframe

iCope2Hope 3-Step Resilience Framework: https://bit.ly/FrameworkRoadmap

Website: iCope2Hope: From Hardship to Hope https://www.icope2hope.com

Move Beyond Adversity Blog:  https://www.icope2hope.com/blog

Free Newsletter: Wednesday’s Resilient Recharge https://www.icope2hope.com/newsletter

Transcript

S1:E16 How to Stop Being Afraid of Change

Introduction: Embracing Change

What if the scariest thing about change isn't the leap, but the cost of standing still? In today's episode, we're talking about how to stop being afraid of change. I'll share why fear of change is so  common. The five simple steps you can take today to move forward with courage, and how to turn uncertainty into freedom to go after your dreams. 

Welcome to the Flourishing After Adversity podcast. I'm your host, Laura Mangum Broome. If you've been knocked down by life, through grief, illness, loss, or unexpected change, you're in the right place. Get ready to turn your setbacks into stepping stones because healing, growth and joy are just the beginning.

But before we get started...

Sponsor Message: Reframe the Spiral

Are you overwhelmed with negative thoughts after a setback? If so, I have the perfect resource for you. It's called Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day. These are the same resilience tools I use, and my clients too, when we feel stuck in a loop of what-ifs and worst-case thinking. And I want to pass them on to you. Just check the show notes for the link or go to iCope2hope.com/reframe.   

Personal Story: Overcoming Life-Altering Events

Change is like standing on the edge of a high diving board for the first time. You look down your heart pounds, every part of you screams, "Stay where it's safe!"  I've had more of those diving board moments than I ever imagined. In a five year span, I went through five life-altering events: bilateral breast cancer, the loss of my teenage son, the passing of my parent, a heart transplant, and a divorce, after 27 years of marriage. Each time change barged in like an unwelcome guest.

And yet, looking back, I can see that every painful ending carved out space for something new: deeper purpose, a truer version of myself, and a life I love today.  The truth I discovered? That greater danger wasn't in jumping outside my comfort zone,  it was in staying stuck on the edge. 

Let's be honest, change feels like loss. It's normal to cling to what used to be. Pretend things haven't changed, overthink every decision, and wait for certainty before acting. But here's what I learned the hard way, certainty rarely comes before the leap.

If you wait until you're a hundred percent ready, you'll still be standing there five years from now. Only more frustrated, more disconnected, and further from the life you want.  For many of my clients, especially those in midlife, that fear sounds like, "What if I'm too old to start over? What if I fail and embarrass myself? What if it's too late for me?" It's not too late, but it will be if you keep waiting. 

Step 1: Radical Acceptance

The first step in my iCope2Hope 3-Step Resilience Framework is radical acceptance. That doesn't mean you like what happened. It means you stopped fighting reality so you can start working with it. 

Ask yourself the following questions: What has changed in my life? What am I still resisting?  What do I need to let go of to move forward?

This is where Step 1 from my Resilience Framework comes in.  Draw a line down a piece of paper to make two columns. On the left side, write "Out of My Control," and make a list of things you can't do anything about in your situation.  On the right side, write "In My Control." And make a list of things in your power to do something with.  Circle one thing from the "In My Control" column, and take that step today, or break it down into smaller steps, and complete one step today.

When you stop resisting change, you take back your power to move forward. 

Step 2: Finding Strength in Past Struggles

The second step is to look for strength in the ashes. You've been through hard times before. Don't forget that. Take inventory of what strengths or core values helped you through past challenges. Who supported you?  What small actions made the biggest difference?

This is Step 2 of my Resilience Framework. Your past struggles weren't wasted. They trained you for this moment. You're not starting over. You're starting wiser.  When doubt says, "You can't handle this," remind yourself, "I've done hard things before, and I can do them again!" 

Step 3: Reframing the Unknown

Step three is to reframe the unknown as a blank canvas. Instead of seeing uncertainty as something to fear, picture it as a blank canvas and you are the painter. You get to hold the brush.  You get to choose what comes next.   How you'll show up. What your next chapter looks like. Yes, there will be mistakes and messy strokes, but this is your painting.  One of my favorite ways to embrace change is to treat it like an experiment.  Next time fear starts telling you what might go wrong.  Ask yourself, what if I surprise myself? What if this is exactly what I need to figure out my purpose? What if this is the start of something better than I can imagine? 

Step 4: Focusing on Control

Step four is to focus on what's in your control. Here's where my iCOPE Problem Solving method comes in.   I stands for Identify the challenge. C stands for Choose what's in your control.  O stands for Outline best case, worst case, and most-likely outcomes.  P stands for Proceed with an action plan for the most-likely outcome,  and E stands for Evaluate and adjust as you go. Be flexible. 

When life feels unpredictable. This method grounds you in what's possible and reminds you you don't need a perfect plan. Just a starting point. 

Step 5: Defining Freedom

Step five is to define what freedom means to you.  Change offers freedom, if you're willing to define it.  Is it freedom from fear? Freedom to choose a new direction? Freedom to reinvent your identity? Let go of what others expect. You don't need their approval to evolve. This is your life to live, your choices to make. 

So, what's at stake if you don't embrace change? If you avoid change, you risk staying in relationships that drain you. Living a life that no longer fits, missing out on joy that only exists on the other side of fear.  You deserve more than survival. You deserve to flourish.

Conclusion and Recap

Let's recap. Today we talked about how to stop being afraid of change by radically accepting where you are, looking for strength in the ashes, reframing the unknown as a blank canvas,  focusing on what's in your control, and defining what freedom means to you. 

Here are a few journal prompts to put it into action:  What's one change I've been afraid to face?  What belief is keeping me stuck?  What's the smallest step I can take today to embrace that change?  How would my life be different if I saw change as freedom? 

Final Thoughts

As I mentioned earlier, if you want to take control of your negative thoughts  during times of uncertainty, be sure to grab my free guide: Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day. Click the link in the show notes or go to iCope2Hope.com/reframe.  

All right. That's it for this episode. Please take a second to subscribe so you'll be notified when future episodes come out. And it would mean the world to me if you'd rate or review the show because the more people who find it, the more people we can help.

In fact, I would be grateful if you can share this episode with three people in need of hope.  Until next time. Remember, adversity can make you bitter or better, choose better. You've got this!