S1:E7 When Life Clears the Slate, What Comes Next?

S1:E7 When Life Clears the Slate, What Comes Next?

Rebuilding After Loss: A Practical Guide to Flourishing

In this episode of the Flourishing After Adversity podcast, host Laura Mangum Broome offers a framework for individuals experiencing significant life disruptions such as divorce, illness, or job loss. 

She shares an eight-step plan to help listeners rebuild their lives with clarity, courage, and attention. Laura recounts a poignant story of friends who lost their home to a flood, emphasizing the potential for growth and clarity that can arise from such losses. Key steps include identifying core values, setting boundaries, focusing on controllable factors, replacing what can be replaced, leaning on a support network, shifting from problems to possibilities, ranking options, and reinforcing the mindset of 'I can.' 

The episode also promotes a free guide, "Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day."

00:00 Introduction to Flourishing After Adversity
00:53 Free Gift: Reframe the Spiral
01:18 Story of Loss and Clarity
02:05 Understanding Modern Complications
03:28 Eight Steps to Rebuild Your Life
10:16 Final Thoughts and Recap
11:32 Conclusion and Free Guide

Free Resource: Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day https://www.icope2hope.com/reframe

Website: iCope2Hope: From Hardship to Hope https://www.icope2hope.com

Free Paperback: Flourishing After Adversity (Pay only $4.99 shipping; U.S. Orders Only) https://www.icope2hope.com/freebook 

Book a free Clarity Call: https://bit.ly/15mincallLMB 

Transcript

 S1:E7 When Life Clears the Slate, What Comes Next?

Introduction to Flourishing After Adversity

Welcome to the Flourishing After Adversity podcast. I'm your host, Laura Mangum Broome. If life has knocked you down, grief, illness, loss, or unexpected change, you're in the right place. Here, we talk about how to turn setbacks into stepping stones because healing, growth, and joy? They're not just possible, they're waiting.

Today's episode is for anyone standing in the ruins of what used to be, wondering "What now?" M aybe your life was flipped upside down by something you didn't see coming-- a divorce, a diagnosis, a layoff, or even just that quiet realization that you've been living a version of life that no longer fits.

If that's you, this episode will give you a framework to rebuild with clarity, courage, and attention.

Free Gift: Reframe the Spiral

But first, if you're stuck in a spiral of negative thoughts, I have a free gift that can help. It's called "Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day."

These are the exact tools I use when my own mind gets tangled. You can find the link in the show notes or visit iCope2Hope.com/reframe.

Story of Loss and Clarity

What would you do if everything was suddenly gone? Let me start with a story. Some close friends of mine had a sweet little house on a lake. It had been in their family for generations.

The kind of home where every creaky floorboard had a story and every window sill held a memory. One summer, a flood swept through their area and completely destroyed it. Gone. The house. The baby books. The wedding photos. The heirlooms. They lost everything. But over time, they gained something that they didn't know they needed. Clarity. 

Sometimes the worst things that could happen becomes the very thing that forces you to reimagine what truly matters.

Understanding Modern Complications

We live in a world where you can order groceries from your phone, attend meetings in your pajamas, and keep up with 400 friends online. We're more connected than ever, and yet we're lonelier, more anxious and more overwhelmed.

Why? Because we've made our lives complicated. Too many options, too many expectations, too little margin for real life. When loss hits, whether it's your health, your marriage, your job, or your sense of identity, it strips everything down to the studs, like a reset button you never ask for. But once the clutter is gone, something surprising happens.

You begin to see more clearly, and that's where your power starts.

Have you ever used an Etch A Sketch? You twist those little knobs, create a picture, and then one hard shake. It's gone. Just a blank, empty screen. Loss is like that.

It erases the image you were building, your plans, routines, even who you thought you were. But with that blank screen comes something powerful, the opportunity to draw again, this time with more intention, more courage, and more clarity. You may not have chosen the shakeup, but you can choose what comes next.

Eight Steps to Rebuild Your Life

I'm going to give you eight tips to help you be prepared.

Step one, identify what really matters. After the flood, my friends didn't say, let's rebuild exactly what we had. They stood in the mud and asked, "What kind of life do we want now?" That's your first step after loss. Clarify your core values. Your values are like a compass. When the map disappears, they still point you in the right direction. 

Let's make this practical. Some core values might be Health: prioritizing, rest, nourishment, and peace, Family: spending time with those who matter most. Faith: grounding yourself in something bigger. Growth: learning from pain, and moving forward. Simplicity: letting go of excess to find clarity, authenticity, living in alignment with who you really are. 

So let's put it in action. Write down your top three to five values. These are the non-negotiables that your life will be built on.

Step two, set boundaries that protect what matters. Now that you know your values, the next step is to protect them.

That's where boundaries come in. If your value is health, you may need to stop overcommitting and start going to bed earlier. If your value is simplicity, it may mean saying no to the extra noise, whether that's people possessions, or pressure. Boundaries aren't walls. They're guardrails, and you need them to stay steady.

How to put this in action? Draw a line down the middle of a sheet of paper. One side says YES, the other NO. Some examples would be maybe you say yes to morning walks, honest conversations, setting aside time to rest. And the NO column, toxic relationships, guilt trips, staying stuck out of fear.

Step three, focus on what you can control. Loss, often leaves you feeling powerless. But you're not powerless. You still have choices. Your next step, your mindset, your attitude, your support system. Grief may visit, regret may linger, but they don't get the final say. You do. 

Let's put this in action. Make a two column list, one side says, "Out of My Control", the other "In My Control." Think about your situation and fill in the columns. When you're done, put an X through the first column "Out of My Control." You can't do anything about those. Now, circle one thing in the second column of "In My Control." You can start these today, but break it down in small, achievable tasks, that's where your power lives.

Step four, replace what you can, release what you can't. My friends replace their furniture and their clothes, but not the photos, not the baby books, not the mementos. Some things can't be restored and that's okay. You still have the memories you can let go. Not because it didn't matter, but because your peace matters more. Let the irreplaceable live in your heart, not your hands.

Step five, lean on safe people. You cannot rebuild your life in isolation. You need people who will sit in silence with you, check in without judgment, show up when it matters most. These are your resilient people, the ones who carry the hope when you can't. 

Let's put this in action. Make a support circle list. Who are the people you can call at 2:00 AM Reach out, ask for help. You don't have to do this alone.

Step six, shift from the problem to the possibility. Instead of asking, why me try asking, what can I create from this?

This is where the iCOPE Problem Solving Method comes in. It's what I teach in my coaching and in my book, Flourishing After Adversity. iCOPE is the acronym for the five steps to simplify how to move forward.

I stands for IDENTIFY what problem is in my control that I can take action to solve.
C stands for CHOICES or CONTROL what options are in my control that I can take action quickly.
O stands for OUTCOMES. What is the best, worst, and most-likely outcomes for the options available?
P stands for PLAN of action. What can I try? Even if it's outside the box.
E stands for EVALUATE where can I be flexible and adapt to unexpected circumstances? 

You don't need every answer right now. You just need to begin asking better questions.

Step seven, rank the options available and take the first step. You're at a crossroads. List out three possible paths forward for your current situation. Then label them Best Outcome, Worst Outcome, Most-likely Outcome. Ask "Which one can I move forward today?" Even baby steps count. 

Let's put this in action. Pick one small, hopeful step. What I mean by hopeful is not wishful thinking. Being hopeful means taking action and moving forward. If you feel stuck, call someone in your support circle to brainstorm with you.

The final and most important step is step eight. Say it out loud. "I CAN." You've heard me say this before and I'll keep saying it. "I can." is the beginning of every breakthrough. I can start over. I can rebuild. I can heal and grow and love again. I can find purpose after pain. I can take one baby step right now. When you feel yourself focusing on what you cannot do, say out loud, "I can't do that, but I can do this..." and name it. 

In fact, try to name three to five things you can do. Trust me. I know from my own experience that there are more things in your control than out of your control. I challenge you to prove me wrong.

Final Thoughts and Recap

Let me leave you with this. You are not starting from scratch. You are starting from wisdom, from grit, from experience, from strength. You forgot you had. You're not what you've lost.

You are what you've survived and what you still believe is possible. My friends who lost their home, they now live in a smaller, simpler house and they'll tell you they've never been happier. Why? Because they live with clarity now, and you can too.

Let's recap the eight steps you can take when life clears your slate.

Step one, identify what matters most. Step two, set boundaries to protect it. Step three, focus on what you can control. Step four, replace what you can release, what you can't. Step five, lean on safe people. Step six, shift from the problem to the possibilities. Step seven, rank your options and take one step and step eight, say it out loud. "I can." 

And remember, you're not starting over empty. You're starting over wiser.

Conclusion and Free Guide

Before we go, if spirals of negative thinking have been dragging you down, grab my free guide, "Reframe the Spiral: 5 Quick Coping Strategies to Shift Negative Thoughts and Reclaim Your Day." Just click the link in the show notes or go to iCope2Hope.com/reframe.

That's it for this episode. Be sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode, and if this helped you in any way, would you take a moment to leave a review?

It helps more people find hope. In fact, I would greatly appreciate it if you would share this episode with three friends in need of hope. 

Until next time, remember, adversity can make you bitter or better. Choose better. You've got this!